The Ultimate Do’s and Don'ts for Bridesmaids

Posted on 20th July 2016
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So you’ve been chosen as a bridesmaid! Congratulations! Whether this is your first time as a bridesmaid or you just want to make sure you do your friend proud for her big day, here is our round-up of the ultimate do’s and don’ts for Bridesmaids.


Be supportive
Throughout the planning process and the big day, it’s important to be there for the bride come rain or shine. Being chosen as a bridesmaid means you are close friends so look after the bride-to-be’s wellbeing by noticing when she is stressed, offer your help and encourage her to let her hair down every once in a while to take her mind off wedding planning.

Stay organised
Invest in an organiser/dedicated diary to record important dates and appointments the bride has asked you to attend such as cake tastings, fittings, shoe shopping, etc. Offering to drive and pick up the bridal party on the way to such appointments and being on time are great ways to show you care and relieves any undue stress of the planning process.

Organise a hen-do that she will love
Your idea of the perfect hen-do (a non-stop party weekend in Ibiza!) may differ from the hen’s (maybe she’s more of a spa weekend at a countryside retreat), so be sure to keep her personality in mind when organising the hen-do so she loves every minute. Also remember it’s the Maid of Honour’s duty to arrange the hen-do so do your best to assist if required and don’t take-over – this is a big deal for the MOH.

Be attentive
The big day is here, now it’s time to make sure the day runs smoothly and without a hitch. Be on–hand to help her with her dress when photographs are being taken, fix any hairs out of place or smudged make-up. Also, make sure she eats, has a drink in hand and of course help her with her dress when she needs the loo - remember all these things take precedence over shots at the bar!


Point blank refuse to wear your dress
We get it; maybe you’re not a girly dress kind of a girl or peach really doesn’t suit you, if the dress really is a no-go, be diplomatic about it. As her bridesmaid, you must be good friends so carefully explain why the dress might not be right for you. A good bridal wear shop will have a wide range of styles and colours so work together to find something that works for everyone, there’s no need to fall out! And if the bride is really insistent on a dress you don’t like, remember, you’ll only wear it for one day and if it makes your friend happy; suck it up and smile.

Push ideas of your ideal wedding onto the bride and groom
If the bride asks for your help in planning her big day, don’t go overboard with ideas and demands. Constantly bombarding the bride (and groom) with ideas and suggestions could be overwhelming and seem as pushy even if you are just trying to help! Provide inspiration when asked and don’t be too forceful. Encourage the bride to set-up a secret Pinterest board for extra ideas from the bridesmaids as a great way to avoid any frustration.

Upstage the bride
This is your friend’s big day, not yours, so it’s important to ensure that all eyes are on her. For example, don’t insist on wearing a bright red lipstick when the bride is also and would prefer you in neutral tones. Smile and nod at what the bride wants, cover up that tattoo if it’s important to her, say yes to the unflattering hair-do, it’s just for one day remember!

Refuse to contribute to any part of your own outfit
It’s important that the bride outlines exactly what contributions are expected from the off so bridesmaids can budget accordingly. If not, ask! Everyone knows weddings are expensive so do expect to pay for some, if not all of your bridesmaid outfit. If this really isn’t possible, speak to the bride and try to work something out, you’re both good friends after all. She can then take this into account when searching for dresses that are more affordable for example.

Make rifts
Wedding planning can be stressful enough without worrying about tensions between a bridesmaid and the rest of the wedding party. Tact and friendships are the order of the day!

All said and done, being a bridesmaid should be an enjoyable experience as you help your friend prepare for and enjoy her wedding day. Of course there will be some stressful moments but it’s how you handle them that matters! Keep our guide of do’s and don’ts in mind and enjoy the experience - have fun!

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